The ingredients for success herein: Vital tips for those who’ve made new years resolutions.

Success is at hand.

Okay, so all the holiday hullabaloo is quieted down, and the New Year has begun, ideally well for you. So now let’s get down to the business of every day life as usual.

OH, but wait a minute, maybe you don’t want it to be as usual, you want it to be different, you want better, more, or less, and improvement in all things.  If you are like many you have made resolutions with those positive changes in mind.  You’ve thought about it for awhile and as the clock struck midnight you primed yourself and you started out with motivation and positive intention; you feel ready and willing; right? Or does it all seem like a huge daunting challenge?

Do you feel truly able?  Answering that question honestly will be most useful.  For no matter how willing and ready you are, you also need to believe you have what it takes. And in fact you do: For you have it within you to do anything you want and need to do, somehow you instinctively know this.

So let’s assume you know that,  and you are now on your way.  You are, based on your resolution, steering yourself in the right direction, and as long as everything is going well, no bumps in the road or road blocks, no problem: Right?

That’s the problem. Problems: They do rear their ugly heads. You have to be ready for them, and ready to deal with them effectively or lose your way.  The fact is if you didn’t factor in ahead of time how you are going to manage to stay on track no matter what, you may very well find yourself veering off course.  I know, you hate giving up, you don’t want to, but you might feel overwhelmed or stymied. So you probably promise yourself that another day or time you’ll get back to it. But its harder then isn’t it? There are so many other demands on your time, your energies, and so many pulls on your consciousness that demand attention. Yes I know it’s frustrating and disappointing to find yourself going against your plan. Yes you tried, but got discouraged, because its just too difficult, and  so you end up tossing the whole idea of succeeding; maybe thinking that when things settle down again you’ll give it another try.

Everyone has had their best intentions preempted by the unexpected, and found it difficult to get back to reactivating their plan. Don’t be hard on yourself.  Robert Burns, the poet said, in his Scottish brogue, “The best laid schemes of mice and men often gang aglay.” Its what we do when that happens that makes all the difference between success and lack of it.

The fact is the majority of people who resolve to make positive changes have not factored in how life gets in the way, and how to deal with that and stay on course regardless of the various circumstances that arise. And most don’t have the life skills that enable them to get through the rough spots and to sustain their motivation and determination. That’s why I teach all my clients life skills and natural easy ways to avoid being unduly stressed, and how to deal with stress more healthfully; otherwise stress can get in the way of their progress. And I teach them how to access the inner resources that will help them facilitate the changes they desire.

So it isn’t a matter to not having enough will power, nor is it a weakness on their part. Old patterns, we are told are hard to break (not always, and not with the right tools on hand), and the 28 days we are told it takes to permeate positive changes isn’t actually based on fact. For some it’s more and others less and dependent on many personal, often complex factors.

So let me give you some help here.

If like the majority of people who come to me, you have tried just about everything to succeed in some endeavors and areas of your life without success,  you need a new approach. They, like you, have given their best efforts to so many methods that by the time I see them they are thinking of me as a last resort. Its cost them time money and energy and  left them with the feelings of being a failure; they are often hesitant to invest more to achieve their goals. I understand and have empathy for their attitudes. Yet they are still seeking the way…which means they haven’t given up. That’s’ good.  Something inside of them tells them there must be a way. And there is; actually many ways. Obviously I can’t give you my Mind Mastery course , or what’s  in my book, The Mind Is Willing, herein, or know you well enough understand what issues could have been preventing your success and help you resolve them. Nor can I hypnotize you in this writing to help you develop new ideas and associations, but I can offer some useful tips.

Here are some things everyone needs to factor in when planning positive changes. And I do mean planning. It takes more than an idea, or even intention to move you to action and keep you on track.

     1. You need to be in touch with the internal resources that will help you follow through with less of a struggle. Think about when you have succeeded in life. How did you do that? What was your attitude? How determined were you? What inner and outer resources did you access and employ to achieve your goal? You didn’t use them all up then, there are plenty available to you, always. Get back in touch with them and decide to employ them again. Because whenever we need or want to make a change, we must do it from a position of inner strength. That’s why when I work with my clients I create a solid foundation and structure for change. We must have a sense of our innate resilience and resources available to us from within to have the confidence to break old patterns and create new ones.

           2.  Make sure you know how to deal with stress well so that it doesn’t interfere with your ability to maintain your focus. If you react to stress negatively it will certainly side swipe you on your path. Keep in mind a fact that I teach in my Mind Mastery course: It is your perception of an event that makes it stressful. Adjust your perceptions, don’t let everything frustrate or upset you. Put everything into its proper perspective.  Ask yourself, ‘How important is it in the whole scheme of things?’

          3.  Be ready to put the conscious effort aside for a brief time while keeping your subconscious aware that its still important to you: Don’t let it think you have let go of the goal. Remind yourself often of its importance to you. And/or simply decide to do your best under the circumstances and that even though you are unable to be perfectly on track right now, you can still follow through to the best of your ability at the moment; with the proviso you will bring it forward with renewed energy again ASAP.

Depending and what the goal is, and what is required to achieve it, you need to recognize that some things will inevitably take precedence. It happens; you can’t always be perfectly on course when crisis demands your attention. Be realistic. Just don’t let these obstacles cause you to feel it’s futile, and that everything is conspiring against you. On any journey there are detours, ups and downs, sometimes road blocks; you don’t turn back or give up, do you?  You find your way to your destination. When we realize that these are temporary situations that can either be circumvented, or all that is required is patience, we move forward again as soon as possible. Think of it like this. You are driving along an unknown road; you hit a pot hole, and your car momentarily swerves out of its lane. What do you do? Do you throw up your hands and say,” Oh well I’ll just crash,” or do take control of your vehicle and steer back on course? Always remember you are in the driver’s seat on your life path.

4.  Don’t tell everyone your plans and goals, that way you won’t feel the need to explain yourself if are not moving forward as quickly as you would like, or as others expect.  If its changing behaviors keep in mind you are undoing the old and doing new at the same time. It’s more complicated than simply learning a new task. If its a new task you are endeavoring to learn, you still need patience. I’ve often thought that the first lesson I need to teach my clients and students is patience.

      5.   “Who are you doing this for?”  Yes, it’s considerate and caring to be doing things that will have a positive effect on others around you; things they have encouraged you to do and want you to do,  i.e. overcoming an addiction, or changing behaviors that impair your health, which inevitably impacts your loved ones. It can be a truly meaningful double motivation: That is, it will relieve loved ones of serious concerns and stress while at the same time it will improve your health, well being and your relationships. So it is  really for you, to improve your life and the quality of your life in some way. You are the beneficiary. Ultimately your decision must be made independently lest you feel resentment and even resistance to making changes as if others are trying to control you. You’ve already proven no one can control you or make you change. It’s always up to you.

  6. Decide. Make a clear cut definite decision. It has to come from getting off the fence, stopping the I should,  I ought to, I have to and the I  musts to actually digging deep inside and getting in touch with what you truly want and need to be at peace within yourself, to do what’s right and best for you. Decisions are most often based on emotions; emotions are powerful energies that can move us in many directions. Build yourself up to those emotional conditions that demand satisfactions. Decisions are powerful; they energize and activate your free will and release your personal powers to go to work for you. They give your subconscious a clear incentive to help you move in the direction you choose to go in, and it will work for and with you all the way.

Even though I haven’t been able to give you everything you need to succeed, you have enough herein to make sure you embark on your journey with some of the basics to move forward.  I’m here for you if you need more help to achieve your goals. Go to  my web site www.elainekissel.com  and learn all the ways I can facilitate your success.

In the mean time, I wish you a healthy fulfilling and successful 2014, and always.

TTFN from Elaine

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